Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
