I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize