We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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