we have pet lesbian snakes
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
