from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
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