Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Pants are for mortals
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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