Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Randomize
