so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
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