I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
