And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
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He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
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You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am