all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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