And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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