try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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