Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
