just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
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