Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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