do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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