You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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