You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
