If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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