I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
