I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
are you so shy because you have an std?
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
