what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
