I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
