Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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