just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
