Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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