Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How external is "for external use only"?
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
