i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
