If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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