Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
