I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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