mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
