I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
