wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you would pick up someone in the library
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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