I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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