i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
