You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
