who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
