Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Your cock deserves a montage
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
