i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
