i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
