just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
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