how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
