I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
