Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I think your dad took our porno
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
