lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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