Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
