Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
