We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
