Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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