you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
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just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
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