Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Someone came in the potted fern
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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