I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Randomize
