its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
