Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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