3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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