where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
