Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Blood and glitter go together right?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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