Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
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