4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
