btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
