Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
