So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
