Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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