Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
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