Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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