I would go down on you faster than GM stock
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
