nut hugger
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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