"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
